if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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