I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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