i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So much rum. So many feels.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
