is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
