kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize