Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
