imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
