You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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