Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize