The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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