wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if only i could text you this smell
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.