I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink