You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
