all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
