I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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