I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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