Quick, to the slutcave!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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