He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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