dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom