the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
