Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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