Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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