absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
