You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
