All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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