We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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