I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize