he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
