Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
