Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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