what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
