I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
