Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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