thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The struggles of a small town man whore
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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