so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
