direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize