she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
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Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I see more hoeing in ur future
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