Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
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I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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