And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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