kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
