I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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