Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
that is very illegal...i love you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
