based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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