Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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