I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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