Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
