she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize