I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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