NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
