He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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