How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
