so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
