Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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