My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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