before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Mom said you looked used
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
