What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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