im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
literally had 100 drinks last night.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
