who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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