Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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