I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
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