I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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