Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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