so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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