he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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