They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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