Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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